Continuing their trend of reporting on common examples of police misconduct only when it victimizes people of privilege, the New York Times recently published a story about a Manhattanite who was arrested for the misdemeanor Obstructing Governmental Administration. Any New York City public defender seeing that charge can pretty much write the script. Police respond to a 911 call. The callers expected EMS. The police were rude, the callers frustrated, and before you can say, “Hey, leave my husband alone!” the cuffs come out and the charges are trumped up.   

Normally I’m delighted to see mainstream media cover issues of police brutality, but the tone of this article was nauseating. The descriptors the journalist chose to add color to the article made the economic class of the defendant crystal clear, implying that this example of police abuse was newsworthy because it contrasted with the comfortable, refined life of the defendant. The article began:

The call was a routine medical emergency, a sick man having a bad reaction to medication. But before it was over, it involved the police and led to the wrongful arrest of a City University of New York professor on the Upper West Side. And it all started with a glass of wine.

Suzanne LaFont, 59, an anthropology professor at CUNY, and her husband, Karl Anders Peltomaa, 50, had just returned to their garden apartment on West 83rd Street after walking their dog one night in April. They sipped red wine in a cozy living room, surrounded with African art that Ms. LaFont had collected during her field work.

But the wine did not agree with the painkillers Mr. Peltomaa, a professor of physics and math at The Art Institute of New York, was taking after having open-heart surgery a few days earlier on April 5. “My heart started racing,” he recalled on Thursday. “I felt nervous that something was going wrong with the repair to my aorta.”

Ms. LaFont dialed 911.

It’s simply shocking, implies the Times, that police would enter a cozy, garden apartment filled with art collected by a professor doing field work.  How much less shocking would it be if the article began:

The call was a routine medical emergency, a sick man having a bad reaction to medication. But before it was over, it involved the police and led to the wrongful arrest of a home health aid in the Bronx. And it all started with a glass of Budweiser.

Suzanne LaFont, 59, home health aide, and her husband, Karl Anders Peltomaa, 50, had just climbed the stairs to their 10th floor apartment (the elevator still broken), after walking their Pit Bull one night in April. They sipped Budweiser in a drafty living room, surrounded with stuffed animals that Ms. LaFont had collected for her eight grandchildren.

But the domestic beer did not agree with the inhaler Mr. Peltomaa, a recently laid off construction worker, was using for his asthma. “My heart started racing,” he recalled on Thursday. …Ms. LaFont dialed 911.

I do not mean to say that the New York Times should ignore travesties of justice when they happen to the upper classes. Police misconduct is newsworthy–  not for its novelty, but for its offensiveness– when it happens to anyone.  Thus, I propose a game for the reader.  Let’s play Media Coverage of Police Misconduct Mad Libs!

Fill in the blanks below with appropriate words from your jurisdiction.  Then post them on the NAPD Facebook page comments for this post. Let’s show the New York Times what we see every day!

The call was a routine medical emergency, a sick man having a bad reaction to medication. But before it was over, it involved the police and led to the wrongful arrest of a [PROFESSION] [LOCATION]. And it all started with a [BEVERAGE].

Suzanne LaFont, 59, [JOB TITLE], and her husband, Karl Anders Peltomaa, 50, had just returned to their [TYPE OF HOME] on [STREET] after walking their [TYPE OF ANIMAL] one night in April. They sipped [BEVERAGE] in a [ADJECTIVE] living room, surrounded with [DECORATIVE OBJECT] that Ms. LaFont had collected while [VERB].

But the [BEVERAGE] did not agree with the [MEDICINE] Mr. Peltomaa, [JOB TITLE], was taking for  [MEDICAL AILMENT]. “My heart started racing,” he recalled on Thursday….Ms. LaFont dialed 911.